genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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