can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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