If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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