now i know why i became what i already was.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
