he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Randomize
