in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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