i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
