It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
