How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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