feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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