go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
