The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
