Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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