we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
