Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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