ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
