Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
