Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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