I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
