You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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