normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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