i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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