I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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