Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
