doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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