I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i drank out of a bidet.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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