No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
