My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize