hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
high people should be assigned attendants
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
