my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
