Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
