Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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