it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
