i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
