I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
