did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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