These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
