The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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