I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
