The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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