Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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