Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize