she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
