So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
