You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
