Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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  (920): I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with. http://tfl.nu/q53z
  Replies (29) Good night (1346) Bad night (1757)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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  (480): p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life http://tfl.nu/eu21
  Replies (24) Good night (4849) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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  (281): They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born. http://tfl.nu/is60
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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  (563): How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence? (1-563): The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them? http://tfl.nu/0g65
  Replies (46) Good night (2695) Bad night (1079)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

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  (843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro
  Replies (23) Good night (567) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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  (803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting http://tfl.nu/75ca
  Replies (33) Good night (10386) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.

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  (813): God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket. http://tfl.nu/pclq
  Replies (13) Good night (5760) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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  (315): Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun http://tfl.nu/t9ze
  Replies (20) Good night (823) Bad night (4641) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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  (317): just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing http://tfl.nu/zjbc
  Replies (4) Good night (2864) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him

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  (724): yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him http://tfl.nu/kgpr
  Replies (4) Good night (2420) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

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  (502): Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt. http://tfl.nu/f1ui
  Replies (10) Good night (3013) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?

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  (719): Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/0la5
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.

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  (940): P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message. http://tfl.nu/r5mr
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.

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  (512): My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes. http://tfl.nu/b90a
  Replies (1) Good night (978) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.

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  (678): Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch. http://tfl.nu/ra61
  Replies (5) Good night (239) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt

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