This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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