I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
