his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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