i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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