i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
