id be glad to
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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