No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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