yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
