Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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