she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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