Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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