Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
