Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
