I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
