i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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